Kids Say the Greatest Things!
1. Nudity
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the backseat, "Mom, that lady isn't wearing her seat belt!"
2. Opinions
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."
3. Ketchup
A Mom was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the bottle. During her struggle, the phone rang and her 4-year-old answered it. "Mommy can't come to the phone right now," she heard her daughter say. "She's hitting the bottle."
4. More Nudity
A little boy got lost at he YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
5. Police #1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a policeman?" "Yes'" I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help, I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "Would you please tie my shoe?"
6. Police #2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking and I saw a little boy staring at me. "Is that a dog you've got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"
7. Elderly
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of dentures soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
8. School
A little girl has just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!"
Rut Blocker
Have students sit forward in their chair and start marching. As the R leg marches, have the L leg step out and in (like a V-step on just one side). Repeat having the R leg step out as the L leg marches. Fun coordination move! Thanks, Susan Waters, for this move!!
