'Twas the Month After Christmas

"Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house,
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse!

The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist!

When I got on the scales there arose such a number
I knew that my walk would be more like a lumber!

I remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared,
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared.

The wine and the rum balls, the crackers and cheese,
And the way that I'd said, "I'll take some more, please."

As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt,
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt.

I said to myself, as only I can,
"You can't spend the winter disguised as a man!"

So-away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.

Every last bit of holiday food must be banished,
'Till all the additional pounds have vanished.

I won't have a treat-not even a lick,
I'll just chew on a long celery stick.

I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly sigh.

It was fun while it lasted and dietings a bore,
But isn't that what January's for?

I smiled as I remembered-It was fun, such a riot!
Happy New Year To All and To All a Good Diet!