A Women's Job

Here is a great "joke" shared by SilverSneakers instructor, Betty Woods:


Housework was a woman's job, but one evening, Janice arrived home from work to find dinner on the table, the laundry done, and the house straightened up.  She was astonished!

It turns out that her retired husband, Bob, had read an article that said, "Wives who work full-time and had to do their own housework, were too tired for romance."

The night went very well.  The next day, Janice told her Red Hat friends all about it.  "We had a great dinner.  Bob even cleaned up the kitchen!  He folded all the laundry and put it away.  i really enjoyed the evening!"

"But what about afterword?" asked her friends.

"Oh, that...Bob was too tired!"

Rut Blockers:

Try this fun combination stretch and coordination move during your cool-down:

Hold the ball in your R hand.  Reach up with the ball and lean to the left, stretching the right side.  Drop the ball, let it bounce and catch it with the L hand.  Repeat.

Quiz for Smart People

Your group may enjoy this quiz - Mine did!

There are only nine questions.
This is a quiz for people who know everything!

I found out in a hurry that I didn't. These are not trick questions.
They are straight questions with straight answers..
1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.

2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?

3 Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?

4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?

5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?

6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters ' dw' and they are all common words. Name two of them.

7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them?

8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.

9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter 'S.'
Answers To Quiz:

1. The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends:Boxing.

2. North American landmark constantly moving backward:Niagara Falls .. The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.
3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons:Asparagus and rhubarb.

4. The fruit with its seeds on the outside:Strawberry.

5. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle?It grew inside the bottle. The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.
6. Three English words beginning with dw:Dwarf, dwell and dwindle...

7. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar:Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation mark, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.
8. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh:Lettuce.

9. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with 'S':Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts.

Puzzles for Brain Fitness

The participnats in my SilverSneakers class enjoy putting puzzles together and we know it's good activity for brain fitness.  We often exchange puzzles.  In fact, we do a lot of sharing.  If we have coupons, books, ideas, resources, vegetables from our garden, etc. we bring them to class and share!

The Dash by Linda Ellis

Here is a poem that will help us all to put life in perspective!

The Dash

By Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak

At the funeral of a friend.

He referred to the dates on her tombstone

From the beginning…to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth

And spoke of the following date with tears,

But he said what mattered most of all

Was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time

That she spent alive on earth

And now only those who love her

Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,

The cars…the house…the cash.

What matters is how we live and love

And how we spend the dash.

So think about this long and hard;

Are there things you’d like to change?

For you never know how much time is left

That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough

To consider what’s true and real

And always try to understand

The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger

And show appreciation more

And love the people in our lives

Like we never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect

And more often wear a smile…

Remembering that this special dash

Might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy is read

With your life’s actions to rehash

Would you be proud of the things they say

About how you spent your dash?

We Wear What We Eat!

This was on the SilverSneakers site.  It's funny because it's too true!!

Holiday Sweator Contest

 My SilverSneakers group always has a Holiday Party/Potluck in December.  I usually provide the ham or sometimes a class member wants to help by bringing a cooked ham.  Then all everybody else has to bring is the sides or desserts - Pretty easy! 

We usually play a gift exchange game called Dirty Santa (See Dec. 8, 2011 blog for full details).
 This year we added a Holiday Sweater Contest.  I gave a prize for the Most Beautiful Sweater and for the Most Outrageous Sweater!  We had some really fun entries!  Of course, I mentioned that it could be a decorated t-shirt and didn't have to be Christmas!

The party gets bigger every year!  Some of the participants tell me that it is the highlight of their holidays! 

Note:  This brings me to something I wanted to mention.  I try to hold as many of our classes as possible, even during the holidays.  Our classes help to get participants out of the house and around friends.  This can sometimes be a lonely time of year for those who have lost spouses or don't live close to loved ones.  Having something to do helps them to cope with the depression they may be fighting.

Remember When?

Let class participants share holiday memories.  Here are a few questions to get them started:

     What is your first Christmas memory?
     Do you remember a favorite gift or your biggest surprise?
     Do you have a tradition you would like to share?
     How did you decorate your tree?
     What did you want your children to remember about the holidays?
     Do you have a holiday treat you like to make each year?

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Grandma, Is Santa Claus Real?

Here is one of my favorite Christmas stories to share:

Grandma, Is Santa Claus Real?

I remember my first Christmas adventure with Grandma.  I was just a kid.  I remember tearing across town on my bike to visit her on the day my big sister dropped the bomb:  "There is no Santa Claus," she jeered.  "Even dummies know that!"

My Grandma was not the gushy kind, never had been.  I fled to her that day because I knew she would be straight with me.  I knew Grandma always told the truth, and I knew that the truth always went down a whole lot easier when swallowed with one of her world-famous cinnamon buns.  I knew they were world-famous because Grandma said so.  It had to be true.

Grandma was home, and the buns were still warm.  Between bites, I told her everything.  She was ready for me.  "No Santa Claus!" she snorted.  "Ridiculous!  Don't believe it.  That rumor has been going around for years, and it makes me mad, plain mad.  Now put on your coat, and let's go."

"Go?  Go where, Grandma?" I asked.  I hadn't even finished my second, world-famous cinnamon bun.  "Where" turned out to be Kerby's General Store, the one store in town that had a little bit of just about everything.  As we walked through its doors, Grandma handed me ten dollars.  That was a bundle in those days.  "Take this money," she said,"  and buy something for someone who needs it.  I'll wait for you in the car."  Then she turned and walked out of Kerby's.

I was only eight years old.  I'd often gone shopping with my mother, but never had I shopped for anything all by myself.  The store seemed big and crowded, full of people scrambling to finish their Christmas shopping.  For a few moments I just stood there, confused, clutching that ten-dollar bill, wondering what to buy, and who on earth to buy it for.

I thought of everybody I knew: my family, my friends, my neighbors, the kids at school, the people who went to my church.  I was just about thought out, when i suddenly thought of Bobby Decker.  He was a skinny kid with messy hair and he sat right behind me in Mrs. Pollock's grade-two class.

Bobby Decker didn't have a coat.  I knew that because he never went out for recess during the winter.  His mother always wrote a note, telling the teacher that he had a cough, but all we kids knew that Bobby Decker didn't have a cough, and he didn't have a coat.  I fingered the ten-dollar bill with growing excitement.  I would buy Bobby Decker a coat!

I settled on a red corduroy one that had a hood to it.  It looked real warm, and he would like that.  "Is this a Christmas present for someone?" the lady behind the counter asked kindly, as I laid my ten dollars down.  "Yes," I replied shyly.  "It's....for Bobby.  He doesn't have a coat."  The nice lady smiled at me.  I didn't get any change, but she put the coat in a bag and wished me a Merry Christmas.

That evening, Grandma helped me wrap the coat in Christmas paper and ribbons (a little tag fell out of the coat, and Grandma tucked it in her Bible) and wrote on the package, "To Bobby, From Santa Claus"--Grandma said that Santa always insisted on secrecy.  Then she drove me over to Bobby Decker's house, explaining as we went that I was now and forever officially one of Santa's helpers.

Grandma parked down the street from Bobby's house, and she and I crept noiselessly and hid in the bushes by his front walk.  The Grandma have me a nudge.  "All right, Santa Claus," she whispered, "get going."

I took a deep breath,  dashed for his front door, threw the present down on his step, pounded his doorbell and flew back to the safety of the bushes and Grandma.  Together we waited breathlessly in the darkness for the front door to open.  Finally it did, and there stood Bobby.

Fifty years haven't dimmed the thrill of those moments spent shivering, beside my Grandma, in Bobby Decker's bushes.  That night, I realized that those awful rumors about Santa Claus were just what Grandma said they were: ridiculous!  Santa was alive and will, and we were on his team.

I still have the Bible, with the tag tucked inside:$19.
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And he puzzled three hours, 'till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!  "Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store.  Maybe Christmas, perhaps means a little bit more!" `Dr. Seuss